Rapha - Parte Tres

Note the title - not 'Part 3' but 'Parte Tres' - impressive, no? Everything Rapha does is pretentious, so any discussion about them has to be as well. 

Anyway, I have on occasion taken pot shots at their unintentionally funny daily email but today's - 'New Coffee Cups and Rapha Gifts' was noteworthy for one reason - Rapha has teamed up with Chris King (he of the famous headsets etc, of which I am a fan, actually) to produce their latest Fred accessory - a Rapha coffee tamper assembled with Chis King parts...

Full marks to Chris King for squeezing every dollar from his parts business but the thing I love is that he already produces a coffee tamper and charges the princely sum of $85 for it. Sure it will last a life time and if you like the look, go nuts, it's your money. His selection....

However, Rapha's costs $120, is identical except that it is black and has their 'R' symbol on it - all for another 35 bucks! Let me repeat the sales proposition. Exactly the same product for $35 more (that's 41%), except that it comes in black and has an 'R' on it. Bargain!

Full marks to the Rapha marketing department for their continuing shamelessness in seeing just how much they can take the piss.

Nice one chaps.

what happened?!

There I was, minding my own business in the East Village and Hurricane Sandy blows in and destroys the place. Like most of lower Manhattan the East Village got a bit of a dunking but life is pretty much back to normal.

The power was out for 5 days of subtly increasing sketchiness in Alphabet City and suddenly the lights came back on...but still no Verizon internet coverage (and limited blogging) because the Verizon cables were drowned and it seems, weren't very well wrapped up. Time Warner (usually as hopeless as Verizon) came back up in the last week because they mostly use fibre optics and their cables coped better with the swim. My neighbour was good enough to let me slime onto his network - finally, something good comes from Time Warner.

Anyway, even a month later, the insurance companies are still slowly extracting cars that went under and will never work again. Piles of sodden rubbish erupted from cellars that the owners/occupiers/lessees finally got around to emptying. Painful (and expensive) as it was, at least we don't have wholesale condemned notices like parts of the West Side, Staten Island, NJ and the Rockaways. Good luck to all of them and hopefully they won't be forgotten.

Onwards and upwards, or at least sideways.

Rapha Part Deux

Continuing my rant against pretentious, overpriced Fredwear from Rapha, I'm happy to share some photos from their latest moody hipster offering - "City Riding Rogues Part II". If you have some lazy cash to waste and need a 'look', check out their latest offering - instant cool! (not).





where the fuck did I leave my keys?



...you are a proctologist, right?

...those drugs you gave me to get my keys out of my...
...was I asleep for long?
...why am I half dressed?
...who's the guy in the gimp suit smiling at?

 Scallywags.

Doping - Phil what's the story?

Granted, there is way too much commentary on doping in cycling but let me add mine to the steaming pile. I feel personally slighted after so many years of commitment watching the Tour De France and its fantastic cheats from the comfort of my lounge chair. The highs, the lows, the drama, the excitement, the disappointments - it's stressful being a fan.

Two points.

First, the 'Voice of Cycling' - Phil Liggett - continues to be an apologist for Armstrong and the cycling establishment. Full disclosure, watching the Tour without Phil (and Paul Sherwin to a lesser extent) is like listening to an audiobook narrated by a supermodel. OK, bad analogy, I don't listen to audiobooks. It's like...anyway, not the same without Phil as it is with him.

Which brings me to my point. For years Phil has studiously defended Lance Armstrong and whenever doping allegations about the Tour are brought up, he is quick to say he hopes they have gone away or, like this year's Tour, dismiss them as publicity seeking by disgruntled has-beens and assorted hangers-on. Well, sorry Phil, I'll still listen to your dulcet tones during the Tour but get your head out of your 70 year old ass/arse (he's English). If anyone has been around for long enough to know exactly what's going on - it's you.

Note to Phil - as the guy that is half the fun of watching the Tour and such a well respected commentator on all things cycling, you have a responsibility to stop the charade. Sure you are under contract and cannot walk away as a result but maybe start with not dismissing doping allegations and work up to questioning Armstrong, the UCI, the Tour organisers, the corporate sponsors etc. Small steps Phil but your failure to acknowledge the truth makes you look a fool. If you retire, I'll be stuck with Bob Roll, Craig Hummer and the other hopeless US commentators talking endlessly about the 36th placed US rider's win in the US Pro Tour de Whogivesafuck. Save both of us further pain and get back on the right path.

Second, the flow-on effect to the amateurs who delude themselves that it's OK to make fucked up moral choices because the 'pros' do it. Amateurs adopting the same immoral attitude is pathetic. See David Anthony, the amateur cyclist whose ambition to move up the ranks of the amateur categories ended with being busted at the ultimate nothing ride - the Grandfondo NYC. However, there is now news that doping has a long history of infecting low level semi-professional/amateur running with an article in the NY Times outlining the banning of Christian Hesch.

Hesch apparently won around $40k a year in prize money at small time events where his chances of not being caught, and of winning some money, were greatest though it is not clear whether that is net of the cost of his drugs and transport costs to Mexico to collect them. Either way, a tough way to earn a living - no glory and earns the same as a NY cop. At least they get a gun, licence to run every red light and endless free donuts. Hesch gets a two year ban and early onset arthritis - what a dick. I like his comment that he did it to recover from an injury - what an injury to the oxygen carrying capacity of his blood? Give me a break - just another hopeless cheat. Get a real job and run in your spare time. No one gives a shit about who won the 10k at Buttfuck, CA except the other runners you beat that weren't doping. Dickhead.

Another disappointing week with presumably many more to follow.

Lance Armstrong is a doper - shock horror!

So, Big George Hincapie publicly confirmed both that he'd spoken to USADA and that he was a habitual doper for a prolonged period of time that coincided with his association with Lance Armstrong. Knock me over with a feather, who would have thought that Armstrong was full of shit? Only everyone who follows cycling and is currently breathing. To the true believers in his innocence, again, well done - I'm having a beer with the Easter Bunny later on and you're all welcome to drop around.

But back to the 'news'. Given I live in the US of A, it's not over for Lance. Couple of nice articles in NY times today.

First a story on Emma O'Reilly, the former soigneur to US Postal who spoke out when collaborating with David Walsh on L.A. Confidentiel: Les Secrets de Lance Armstrong. She was vilified and pursued by Armstrong and his cronies as he did to anyone that suggested he was a doper. Typical bully - he pursued someone with intimate knowledge of his doping but who barely had the money to defend herself when she spoke the truth. Armstrong, a bully and a pathetic coward.

However, his fellow team members also bear responsibility for his poor behavior - not only did they dope, but they knew he did and that he was pursuing and bullying anyone that accused him of doing so...but they did nothing. Sorry  Hincapie, but confessing after you have retired doesn't absolve you from your sins. You should apologise to anyone that Armstrong persued because not speaking out made you part of the Armstrong problem. Same for Frankie Andreu, Michael Barry, Tom Danielson, Tyler Hamilton, George Hincapie, Floyd Landis, Levi Leipheimer, Stephen Swart, Christian Vande Velde, Jonathan Vaughters, David Zabriskie, Matt White and anyone else on that team involved in the doping program.

The culpability that these riders bear is that they knew about the doping AND the persecution by Armstrong of anyone that accused him. Fucked up moral choices that should haunt them forever. Along with Lance Armstrong, just another bunch of 'c-bombs' as Americans say (for the rest of the World vernacular, see Brad Wiggins* ha ha).

The second article, relates to a spat between Armstrong and an insurance company that underwrote a performance payment to him for success fees during his Tour wins. Problem No. 1 is that Armstrong  prevailed and was awarded $7.5M during an arbitration but also has been shown to have consistently lied under oath. Looks like he will be getting a visit from the lawyers for SCA to send the cash back plus interest (they should also send around the goons to have a word about his kneecaps). Problem No. 2 is that he lied under oath and that will affect any future statements he makes in Court - ie in legal jargon, he will be assumed to be an unreliable witness, in common terms he will be assumed to be complete liar about anything and everything and not just cycling issues. Doh!

Sadly plenty more news to run on the entire pro peleton during this period (call that the  20 years prior to 2011) and there will be a long list of respected riders who will be revealed to be dopers - all of whom will legitimately say that they had no choice because it was so endemic in the peleton and that to compete, they had to be on the juice. All up a massive fucking disappointment but not a surprise to true cycling fans. We know it has always been going on, just not the depth or the degree of organisation. Lance Armstrong will be remembered as the greatest doper ever. The Barry Bonds of cycling. He might have some redemption in the eyes of cancer survivors and their families because of Livestrong but everything he did in cycling will be irrelevant. Even his apologist, unethical sponsors have dropped him. Nike, Trek, Anheuser-Busch, Sram you are a collective disgrace and only dropped him when your continued unethical support for a clear and known doper started to threaten sales - don't pretend it had anything to do a policy of supporting only drug-free sportspeople.

* Thanks BikesnobNYC for the a far more reasoned analysis of Bradley Wiggin's vernacular. More interesting and funnier than the bullshit moral highground from Bicycling.com.

Gears - electronic or mechanical?

Let me to distill the debate. There are two simple rules.

Rule 1 - Most riders don't give a shit about the debate.

Rule 2 - If you want it and it makes you happy, well done - life's short.

I am not an early adopter or a fan of changes that make equipment dated or redundant for no reason other than fashion or incremental gains; especially those that cost lots of bucks - eg the bottom bracket debate. If you are sprinting for a stage win and your livelihood depends on the result, for sure you should have the 0.0005% gain from a stiffer BB. If not, save your money. Then again, see Rule 2.

Anyway, to gears. I have been riding for long enough to remember when indexed down tube shifters were the latest break-through. My most recent road bike lasted 14 years and then terminally* cracked inside the seat tube. I ride road bikes and mountain bikes rain, hail, shine, snow, ice etc because I like it and I am apparently less obnoxious when I ride some. 

I weighed up the options and considered the debates-

• Carbon is stiff/fragile/plastic/a joke/essential
• 'Steel is real'
• Bamboo = smugness  
• Aluminium is passe
• Titanium is for middle aged men buying artisinal frames (true, but see rule 2)
• etc

For context, my riding is urban commuting and randonneuring. I don't club race, do triathlons or do training rides with more than 1 or 2 companions, if any. I don't mind if people club race, triathlons or ride in packs to the local coffee shop - it's just not my thing. I ride to be out in the weather and preferably, away from traffic, pedestrians and other cyclists who pose a danger to themselves and, more importantly, me - hard to avoid in NYC. I'm generally heading home when most recreational cyclists are heading out which means nothing more than my preference for bikes and equipment is less fashion, incremental improvement and more about fit, resilience and ease of repair given the miles I ride and the type of riding I do.

So to the bike. Based on my history of choosing carefully (or at least very, very slowly) and making bikes last a long time, the house budget committee approved me to spend some cash on the condition that whatever I chose, it had to last with minimal additional expense other than my endless quest for the perfect seat. After considerable (excessive) deliberation, I opted for a titanium frame (see rule 2), hand built wheels (DT rims/Chris King hubs) and a groupset that I'll get to.

The frame was a no-brainer given I have struggled to get the 'perfect' fit from stock frames and the best way is to get one that is made for me. There are plenty of decent options but I opted for titanium because (at least in the USA) you can get an awesome, custom fitted frame for a reasonable cost that has an excellent ride quality and avoids my two problems with carbon frames - try fixing them and the cost. Plus I think modern butted Titanium frames provide a superior ride to steel alloys - sure steel aficionados disagree but I sort of don't give a shit.

The wheels were easy as well. Until my recent (14 years old) Mavic Classics Pro wheelset, every wheelset I had was handmade because that's how wheels used to be made. There are endless options with fewer and fewer spokes, carbon rims/spokes/hubs etc etc but I live in an urban environment that is third world in terms of potholes and the kind of riding I do requires an ability to repair that which breaks - thus the DT rims and 28 spokes/wheel. They still weigh not much more than light weight wheelsets but can take more punishment and are more comfortable.

To the groupset. Despite my attitude to frames and wheelsets, I opted for Ultegra Di2. I am still not sure that this is the best choice or that, despite my scorn for fashion and incremental change, I haven't been sucker punched. However, the rationale is more complex. I have always wanted a Campy Record (not Super Record) groupset for the history and design but have always ended up with Japanese components because the quality, value and robust engineering suits my riding and budget. Simple things matter - eg it is easier, and much cheaper, to replace a broken Shimano chain than a Campy chain (ie if the LBS actually stocks them). The move to 11 speed rear cassettes just exacerbates the problem.

Which brings me to my dilemma. I opted for a groupset that has motors and relies on battery power to work. What was I thinking? I was thinking that the Dura Ace Di2 had some minor issues but was tested to death and has been improved to the point that it functions perfectly and any improvements are likely to be incremental in future generations. The Ultegra Di2 is still a similar cost to mechanical DuraAce, doesn't look quite as flash, is heavier than mechanical Ultegra but incorporates all of the improvements made to DuraAce Di2. If I was ever going to opt in, now is a reasonable time (actually in about 5 generations would be the time but I need a solution now).

But, all of this is weighing up incremental differences. Hopefully the incremental risk that won't be my undoing is the advantage of mechanical gears, namely, the thing that changes gears is a rider pushing a lever that pulls or releases a cable while Di2 relies on a motor to respond every time. Time will tell. If my objective was weekend rides of a few hours and some commuting, then the risk with electronic gears is negligible. If something goes wrong, you can generally limp home even in the wrong gear but being hundreds of kilometres from home, potentially in the middle of the night might change my mind. 

Regardless, the question remains - is there a need to opt into electronic shifting? Fundamentally, randonneuring is about resilience, self repair (usually in the middle of the night) and redundancy built into everything. Electronic shifting is the opposite of that. If something goes wrong with a servo, that's it...This might sound like buyer regret but it is not. For sure it is a leap of faith that I may regret but that is for the future. For now, the groupset is excellent - ie better than mechanical shifting and, on balance, I think I am on the right side of Rule 2. If it turns out to be a cluster, then I'll apply to the budget committee to undo the experiment, go for mechanical something and put it down to experience though to be honest, I really like Di2. Maybe it's the first blush of a new relationship but hopefully, it will grow into a 10 year relationship which, in bike technology terms, is married for life.

Interested in the opinions of others.

* Note - cyclists talking about their bikes bores the shit out of me but for the sake of completeness (and at the risk of showing my eccentricities), it was a Kestrel 200sci (they were such a forward thinking company in a non-bike way before they ran out of cash, got bought by Fuji and produced their current crop of truly ugly bikes - Kestrel, wtf happened?). I used Dura-Ace (mechanical of course) and had Mavic Classics Pro wheels. All awesome and took a complete flogging but when time is up, time is up. I put on a compact 105 crank last year for a 1200k event but everything, other than the frame, lasted very well despite 150,000km+ on the bike. Only swapped out pedals, seats(!) and bars (for a narrower fit).

Riding in NYC

Something visual - my YouTube ride to work after delivery in Battery Park - take a look. It's a few years old but still the same experience - more joggers and cyclists running into each other these days.

Tattoos

I love the East Village. Lots of minorities living in relative peace and harmony and only occasionally robbing or assaulting each other. Everyone is welcome and even if you are not, no one is going to throw you out. Even so, I do feel like an outsider occasionally. I don't have a tattoo.

I'm not against tattoos, I just don't want one. On the contrary, if the hipsters want to pour some cash into the East Village economy, go right ahead. On St Marks alone, there are 7 tattoo joints between Ave A and Broadway. That's a lot of 'artists' to feed. They need rebels with cash and un-inked real estate to swing by.

The point I cannot reconcile is a little more philosophical. I change my mind occasionally. What if I get some 'ink' and decide I don't like it? Laser removal? Doesn't seem to be a great option to replace unwanted ink with scar tissue. I certainly don't want to be the dribbling old guy in the corner of the nursing home with a 'sleeve' of demons and naked ladies. Then again, I don't want to be a dribbling old guy in a nursing home. 

However, most East Villagers would claim that they intend to live fast and die young but there are simply too many of them to assume none will survive to inked old age. Worse, when they breed and move to Williamsburg for the 'space' (and to access cheap veggies through the Park-Slope Food Co-Op) it becomes apparent that they aren't differentiated rebels. They are aging hipsters with tattoos, dressed the same as the other aging hipsters with tattoos, and they all send their children to the same schools; thereby becoming part of a homogeneous crowd - which is what they were trying to avoid when they got the tattoo.

But that's an issue for them. If they're happy, I'm happy. I might let out the occasional snort as I ride  past them heading home to the LES across the Williamsburg Bridge (I take the long way home from mid-town). My favorite part of the day is turning the corner onto the bike access ramp from the Williamsburg side as the hipsters hammer down towards the bollards trying to slow their fixies without using brakes. It's too narrow to power slide and those bollards certainly are solid. The smell of fear lingers in the air longer than the smell of burnt rubber. Sorry, but there are few things as 'uncool' looking as the fixie bum wobble as they try to slow without dislocating their hips.

Back to tattoos. My only pause, my real moment of questioning the wisdom, relates to facial 'ink' and corporate logos - which also includes references to sporting events owned by corporations. The fundamental premise with a tattoo is that you are getting something that lasts forever (or until they invent a way to remove them that looks the same or better than un-inked skin) which is part of the commitment; the appeal presumably, but some people should spend a bit more pre-ink time thinking through the consequences, let alone the 'look'. Mike Tyson tried to leverage off centuries of South Pacific  tribal designs but those guys were generally trying to scare the shit out of each other before a fight to the death, not retirement from boxing. Still Mike's ink is a bit soft when compared to the true believers.

But I digress. My real issues is with sporting event/corporate tattoos (same thing). Sure, after completing an 'Ironman' triathlon you might feel flushed with achievement but don't get a permanent advertisement for the corporation that owns the world wide rights to the events and the logo. All you are doing is advertising their brand for the term of your natural life. A variation on the theme is to 'capture' the achievement without advertising the corporation - ie something that alludes to completing the Ironman distance but is not the 'M-dot' logo. I saw the one below on a recent ride.



left leg

I must admit I was a little confused because there was nothing on his right leg. I assumed the letters were a reference to the scientific symbol for Iron. Then again, maybe his name is Febox. Either way, he rode off before I could ask him so I completed completed the job for him.

suggested right leg 'ink'

Job done. Now that's a proper Ironman tattoo!

If you have to rebel, I'd stick to body piercing. At least if you change your mind, it will grow over.

Bike seats - the good, the very bad

The search for the Holy Grail continues - a seat that is comfortable for long distances

Models to be reviewed with graphic descriptions of damage done, success, failure, the highs, the lows, the bruises, the blood blisters (...and this is cycling, not running - this is meant to be fun)-

• Brooks Swift Ti (I hate this seat)
• Fizik Aliante (current source of disappointment)
• SMP Stratos (what was I thinking?!)

These are my three most recent and followed a long line of equally miserable non-performers although I did quite like an ancient Selle Italia Turbo until the rail snapped. All have been ridden for many, many, many kilometres. I'll lead off with the biggest disappointment.

The Brooks Swift Ti ('swift' because you ride fast to finish and get off the seat). The seat looked great out of the box, as product testers say (not sure what it means). Also smelt nice, like a leather couch. A new one, not a skanky old one in a night club with layers of grunge that defy analysis.

The shiny hardness reminded me of new school shoes from the very distant and forgettable past. Ironic because siting on this seat is like having a hard leather shoe shoved up our ass, or 'arse' as the British say; it is an English saddle after all. Also not sure why I fell for the "Ti" (ie titanium for those without a periodic table handy) version but I suppose it weighed a teeny bit less while I dragged it everywhere and the rock hard leather efficiently destroyed my ass/arse. It also cost more than the standard model so it had to be better.

Before the question is asked - yes, I confirm I bought the Brooks leather slime and dutifully coated the seat as often as recommended and more so when I rode in the rain, snow etc. I stuck this awful seat on my trusty mountain bike and used it to ride to work and back every day for oh, I dunno, three years. Any improvement? Nope. 

Moving along. Although I can legitimately claim to be obnoxious, I cannot claim to be a big fat bastard (or attractive). Weighing in at an acceptable 138 pounds and at 5'7 in tallness/shortness (that's 'normal' by the way...look it up), I also can't claim to exert much gravity assisted grinding pressure on the rock hard leather of this unforgiving, literal pain in the ass/arse but I would have thought that the effluxtion of time and my bum sweat would have eventually softened things up a bit, er....no. By the way, I do ride distances longer than 20 kms a day and have ridden with this seat on many, many long rides - same result. 

The first sign of real trouble was the NYC Century a few years ago. It is a chilled out, slow, FLAT ride with nice-ish other riders (and the usual NY fuckwit car drivers trying to mow everyone down). Transportation Alternatives organises the ride to demonstrate that cars and bikes can co-exist in NYC. I don't ride it because of my love of bicycle advocacy (infact, some of the most insane riding I have seen has been on the NYC) but I do appreciate their hard work and it's a nice way to see the city and reduce you chances of being run over by making like a school of fish - if there are lots of people doing the same thing and if someone has to be squashed by a car, bitten by a dog, arrested, shot etc chances of escape are better in a crowd.

Anyway, for this ride, I put the seat on my trusty road bike. The ride was 160kms/100 miles. A reasonable, not excessive distance. First 50ks were all good, next 50 sort of not so good, next 50 - very uncomfortable, last 10 - excruciating. Upon triumphant completion of the ride, I returned to the East Village, stepped over the dog shit, needles, the odd junky and pushed through the trash to get inside my apartment, then headed for the shower to make myself a little less stinky. The warm water was relaxing until it reached downstairs - sharp intake of breath and serious cheek clenching (not my face). Closer inspection revealed a bruise, blister and welt under where I suppose each sit bone is located.

Still. I didn't give up. I persisted for a long, long time. Anything over 100ks was never fun. I tried to like this seat. I nurtured it with Brooks Proofide. I encouraged it to meet me half way but the relationship was never meant to be. It looked so shiny when we met but was too inflexible. We had to break up. I haven't seen Brooks Swift Ti for a long time though I hear it's doing fine ruining someone else's life.

To be continued...

Bike Path of Death

Injury, death, mayhem, drama, craven stupidity - that's riding on the Bike Path of Death (BPOD) along the Hudson River.

If aliens want to know how hard it is to take over New York, they should head on down to the Hudson River bike path at 54th Street. They will be  pleased. The stupidity and self annihilation is staggering. To avoid the carnage on 1st Ave, I ride to mid-town from the East Village via the BPOD and turn off at 54th St. In the period between stopping at 54th Street/West Side Hwy, waiting for the lights to change I have seen cyclists run into cyclists, cyclists run into runners, cyclists run into strollers and joggers run into signs (which is just funny). It is a festival of carnage by a bunch of desperados. I know that living in NY can make you crazy, but really...

The thing that really pisses me off is the general, everyday head up the ass stupidity of cyclists on the BPOD...and I ride a bike. Even runners on the BPOD are less random. Some are in the occasional habit of doing a U-turn without looking for traffic which results in spectacular accidents with cyclists (ambulance always required) but at least runners aren't moving quickly and they are sort of softer and squishier when you hit them. Bike riders on the other hand, are not.

Summer is the worst with every triathlete/road racing wanna-be/weekend warrior hammering up and down through the random commuters, joggers and strollers. The danger climbs with the temperature, peaks in July at the NY triathlon and diminishes as the weather gets cooler. After the NY Marathon in November, it's all good. The best time to ride is in the middle of Winter - the only traffic is the restaurant delivery guys and they are friendly, and slow (except when they are riding the wrong way up a one way street, but that is a different matter).

Beware the BPOD. You have been warned.

Update No.1 - riding up the BPOD last week, I saw a runner bolt across the bike path trying to make a light to cross the West Side Hwy. He didn't look left or right which caused the rider he nearly hit, to swerve to his left and nearly run into a women on a bike (with a child in a carrier on the back). She slammed on the brakes and nearly fell off, then gave the other rider a mouthful but ignored the runner.

Who was at fault? The runner was stupid and thoughtless. The bike rider that swerved around him should have been looking for runners etc because random acts of stupidity happen all the time on the BPOD. The women with the child should have maced the runner. It was his fault after all plus she should know better than taking innocent children onto the BPOD which is far more dangerous than the crap shoot that is getting into a NY taxi.

Roll on Winter. The only safe time to be on the BPOD.

Lance Armstrong, Grandfondo NYC...it's all so sordid

Ah yes, drugs in sport. Tyler Hamilton has been busy and has just released a book that appears to be partly about him and mostly about Lance Armstrong's small er,...drug problem.

At the risk of adding another irrelevant opinion to the bottomless pit of public opinion on this topic, let's go back...

I must say I applauded Lance Armstrong's struggle back to professional sport from his death bed, sort of enjoyed reading the books and would like to have believed he was clean...but I never could - anti-cancer fundraising squeaky cleanness, or not. The Tour de France is too hard and the rest of the (mostly doped up) peleton too good that it was always too good to be true (that's a lot of 'toos', but that's a lot of 'wins' as well). The idea that one punter could train, compete and most importantly recover, day in day out to win 7 on the trot is absurd. More power to his pharmacist though. Also to the organisation that went into getting him on/off/on/off the juice with such efficiency and timing between the famous 500 tests. To the true believers in Saint Lance - good luck (btw I saw Santa Claus and Elvis having a beer in the East village yesterday).

The only outcome that would amount to any justice at this point would be to call a doping moratorium ending at the start of the 2011 TDF  - being the most likely the first TDF won by someone not doping in the last 50 years - nice work Cadel...goes to show that if you aren't on the juice backing up two years in a row is a bit of a stretch. Let all past riders fess up and walk away with their wins/losses/careers intact. Lance Armstrong could keep his 7 tainted titles and so could all of the others that have won/lost/had a placing in the last 50 years in hundreds of bike races and we can all move on. My moratorium offer comes with mandatory long term biological passporting for the pros and mandatory public humiliation for any amateur caught doping (more on that later) for being so cravenly pathetic.

Incidentally, it is a bit rich stripping him of his titles when so many previous winners were on the juice as well. Yes, yes Contador had his taken off him but it's a bit late to reverse that one. Pretending that Lance Armstrong was the most egregious offender of past winners is absurd. He is certainly the most blatant and unrepentant but then he had the misfortune to be winning at a time that drugs in sport is (quite rightly) a huge issue. Bad timing old boy. Oh, well.

Which brings me to why this issue irritates me. For a start, he is full of shit and has taken the 'walk away, I'm too tired to keep fighting this' defence - ie the coward's way out. Either fight it to the death or confess. It's not like he has run out of cash or has anything better to do (triathlons?). But worse, amateur morons think that doping is a good idea - eg David Anthony (amatuer doper). That poor punter has been beaten up enough so that's not my intent, or even my right for that matter - sorry, professional 'althetes' get paid to compete and are fair game. As has been well documented, Anthony was busted at, of all events, the Granfondo NYC (aka the weekend ride to Bear Mtn and back).

A moment of full disclosure - to my eternal shame I rode in the Grandfondo NYC. I promise never to repeat this mistake. I have also ridden to Bear Mtn a few times and can confirm that riding without 5000 friends is much more enjoyable, less dangerous and you don't  all have to wear the same stupid jersey. Most importantly, you can do it any weekend (except grandfondle weekend) for free. Anyway, the doping controls were a great laugh and a pathetic attempt to lend some credibility to a group ride so to be actually caught doping was a staggering performance by D. Anthony.

Which brings me to my point. Lance et al, either win cleanly or piss off and get an honest job (politics, investment banking?). You are a bad example to youth and middle aged men dealing with a mid-life crisis. Fuck you.