Somewhere in London, deep in the marketing department at Rapha, a product designer is in conversation with the marketing manager...
PD: Mate, I'm really sorry but I'm in big trouble. I've got a Cat 5 crit this weekend and I've been doping like a bastard and not eating nuffin'. I went down the pub last night to score some EPO and ended up having a few. I don't know what happened. One minute I was good, the next I was completely fucked up. EPO and lager don't mix. Apparently I 'bought' a truckload of parachute fabric that fell off the back of an 'aeroplane' and landed in the garage of a very large man who dropped me home this morning in a gimp suit. He said that I owe him 10Gs payable, in cash, tomorrow. Otherwise, he's sending Biff and Rocko around to have a word about my kneecaps. What am I going to do? He knows where I live.
MM: You stupid fuckwit. How many times have I told you not to drink and dope. Do you expect me to give you ten large?!
PD: Mate, I don't have any cash. I've blown it all on dope and bike shit. You have to help me. I designed all that shit we are flogging to the Freds. They can't get enough of it.
MM: Listen dickhead, I don't have to do shit. This is the last time I bail you out. I'll give you the money but you have to do something with your 'parachute fabric' and pay me back or you'll wish you took the beating from your boyfriends.
PD: Thanks Mate, you're the best, done in a week, no worries. You wouldn't have to have a tenner would ya? I have to get something for my bum. Doesn't feel quite right after last night.
...a few days later...
MM: OK numb nuts, what's happening with the parachute caper?
PD: Mate, you'll love it. I've created a jacket to use up as much as possible...
Rapha press release - Attention all Freds. You thought you looked ridiculous, er...we mean 'cool' in those awesome team replica kits from Astana, Discovery, Phonak?!. Well have we got something for you! Announcing the release of new Fredwear - an amazing Windproof (nb not waterproof) Jacket made from incredible, awesome, 'repurposed' random shit. And it's yours for only $450! Don't delay!!!!
er...haven't we seen something like this before?...ah yes...
Here is the jacket being sported by a young Leonard Nimoy before he got the Star Trek gig.
"I hope I get the Spock job so I can ditch modelling fucked up Fred jackets
made out of random shit that some idiot bought at a pub".
Good one Rapha. $450 - giddyup!
