Tattoos

I love the East Village. Lots of minorities living in relative peace and harmony and only occasionally robbing or assaulting each other. Everyone is welcome and even if you are not, no one is going to throw you out. Even so, I do feel like an outsider occasionally. I don't have a tattoo.

I'm not against tattoos, I just don't want one. On the contrary, if the hipsters want to pour some cash into the East Village economy, go right ahead. On St Marks alone, there are 7 tattoo joints between Ave A and Broadway. That's a lot of 'artists' to feed. They need rebels with cash and un-inked real estate to swing by.

The point I cannot reconcile is a little more philosophical. I change my mind occasionally. What if I get some 'ink' and decide I don't like it? Laser removal? Doesn't seem to be a great option to replace unwanted ink with scar tissue. I certainly don't want to be the dribbling old guy in the corner of the nursing home with a 'sleeve' of demons and naked ladies. Then again, I don't want to be a dribbling old guy in a nursing home. 

However, most East Villagers would claim that they intend to live fast and die young but there are simply too many of them to assume none will survive to inked old age. Worse, when they breed and move to Williamsburg for the 'space' (and to access cheap veggies through the Park-Slope Food Co-Op) it becomes apparent that they aren't differentiated rebels. They are aging hipsters with tattoos, dressed the same as the other aging hipsters with tattoos, and they all send their children to the same schools; thereby becoming part of a homogeneous crowd - which is what they were trying to avoid when they got the tattoo.

But that's an issue for them. If they're happy, I'm happy. I might let out the occasional snort as I ride  past them heading home to the LES across the Williamsburg Bridge (I take the long way home from mid-town). My favorite part of the day is turning the corner onto the bike access ramp from the Williamsburg side as the hipsters hammer down towards the bollards trying to slow their fixies without using brakes. It's too narrow to power slide and those bollards certainly are solid. The smell of fear lingers in the air longer than the smell of burnt rubber. Sorry, but there are few things as 'uncool' looking as the fixie bum wobble as they try to slow without dislocating their hips.

Back to tattoos. My only pause, my real moment of questioning the wisdom, relates to facial 'ink' and corporate logos - which also includes references to sporting events owned by corporations. The fundamental premise with a tattoo is that you are getting something that lasts forever (or until they invent a way to remove them that looks the same or better than un-inked skin) which is part of the commitment; the appeal presumably, but some people should spend a bit more pre-ink time thinking through the consequences, let alone the 'look'. Mike Tyson tried to leverage off centuries of South Pacific  tribal designs but those guys were generally trying to scare the shit out of each other before a fight to the death, not retirement from boxing. Still Mike's ink is a bit soft when compared to the true believers.

But I digress. My real issues is with sporting event/corporate tattoos (same thing). Sure, after completing an 'Ironman' triathlon you might feel flushed with achievement but don't get a permanent advertisement for the corporation that owns the world wide rights to the events and the logo. All you are doing is advertising their brand for the term of your natural life. A variation on the theme is to 'capture' the achievement without advertising the corporation - ie something that alludes to completing the Ironman distance but is not the 'M-dot' logo. I saw the one below on a recent ride.



left leg

I must admit I was a little confused because there was nothing on his right leg. I assumed the letters were a reference to the scientific symbol for Iron. Then again, maybe his name is Febox. Either way, he rode off before I could ask him so I completed completed the job for him.

suggested right leg 'ink'

Job done. Now that's a proper Ironman tattoo!

If you have to rebel, I'd stick to body piercing. At least if you change your mind, it will grow over.